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I think we’d all like to say that
every guy we’ve slept with was an amazing lover, but let’s be frank here, if
you've slept with a few people, there’s been at least one bad lover. Just think
about it. However, remember that it takes two to tango. You can’t just lie
there like a sack of potatoes and expect him to do all of the work without
communicating if you dislike something he’s doing or not and then at the end
label him a shit lover in-between the sheets. (Why you wanna be mean?)
So basically, once you've
established the fact that two can indeed tango, sometimes there is no escaping
the fact that he really does suck at it. But why anyone would want to date a
dude whose so rubbish in bed is beyond me.
Okay okay let’s not judge. He
might be drunk, distracted or upset at the time. So if you want to increase
your chances of a decent seeing-to, I suggest you optimise the situation.
Although, some men don’t have their performance hindered by the effects of drugs
or alcohol. But some just flop out. Or maybe it was too soon? It’s likely that
if you don’t know each other that well and haven’t built a true connection, no
matter how much you lust after his six pack or how big his **** is, or think
he’s charming, he or both of you may find that when naked, it’s not that sexy.
Not every man is wired to screw you in a heartbeat. Some men are more emotional
than the usual hump you and dump you and regular shagger sorts!
Don’t let him pump you like he
was in horse race. If you aren’t enjoying it, don’t stay mute. Okay I get it,
you’re not the vocal type in the bedroom but did you try to point him in the
right direction? Wince or literally change position? Some of his previous
partners may have liked being ridden like they’re in the Grand National. So
with that typical male ego, he assumes that everybody likes his techniques. *clears
throat* Error.
But hold up! Are you saying his a
bad lover because you didn't have an orgasm? *clears throat* lucky you if you
come all the time. No wonder you have such high expectations. But just know
that you can actually have good sex without having an orgasm all the time.
Or maybe you have given him the
impression that his superman in bed? See I’m all for encouraging and managing
egos sometimes, but there is something called constructive encouragement and
then taking the piss and creating your own demise. Why would you keep telling
someone they are great at something when they’re not, and then wonder what to
do about the fact that they’re bad at it?! You have only made the task of improving
the situation harder because now you have to undo your lies and think of how to
put him on reverse.
My advice: instead of admitting
you told a lie, start introducing new things to try out in the bedroom with the
excuse of spicing things up. If you can’t tell him or even show him how to turn
you on, how do you expect him to find out? By osmosis?
Okay don’t shoot me for what am
about to say, but really have you for a second considered the fact that he may
think you’re bad in bed? Yeah I know it didn't cross your mind. But unless you
are with one of those egotistical guys who thinks that by waving his willy in
any woman’s direction will induce an orgasm, he may not be enjoying the sex
either! This means neither of you are communicating your needs to find a way to
communicate what you need, feel and desire.
Remember sex is not the be all
and end all of a relationship, but it is important. So if you aren’t enjoying
it say something. Shake your bori.
As usual stay beautiful
Xoxo Chantel.
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