You know there used to be a time when people were very uncomfortable talking about sex openly but now it seems like that’s the ‘new cool’. I judge not. Am just amazed at how everyone is now being so open about it. (ermm no am not tbh) Okay we are all sinners…shikena. Anyway so this post is as a result of some #NHBi thing I saw on Twitter… (Mind you I have no idea what #NHBi stands for so please don’t ask).
Do guys care about how many people you have slept with? I would say that is a resounding YES. Call it Ego, the other 25% that makes up men’s bodies after water, but most guys seem to have some level of discomfort regarding how many people their significant other has been with. I would guess it’s because they would like to think that they are the only one you've had (can be possible), and failing that, the biggest and the best you've ever had. Due to our fears of repercussions and looking less like the virgin Mary to our beloved’s, most women have some level of discomfort saying just how many people they have been with. Which means they would undercount to a number that suits their significant other’s ears. Never fear ladies…he has probably inflated his number as well.
A guy likes to feel or think perhaps that you are ‘his’ as it is a macho instinct which is ingrained into the male wiring system. Now he can go ahead and do two things with this instincts, which is one, to act on it and be an assclown with his expectations that his woman should either be a virgin or have slept with very few people (which again i say can be possible). Or, he can have this instinct but keep it in check because in the real world, short of meeting a woman at 18, there tends to be a level of sexual history that has been gathered.
Where the double standard kicks in though, is that often than not a guy racked up some big digits with sexual partners, but STILL somehow manages to think that his woman should be holier than thou.
My take personally, I don’t think that you should be discussing how many people you've slept with, because quite frankly, no matter what number either of you say beyond zero, or one, one or both of you won’t take the answers well. If you have had previous sexual partners, you should both be discussing things from the safe sex point of view (i.e. when were either of you last tested?) but I fail to see what knowing the ‘magic number’ is going to do for either one of you. (Not unless you can use it to collect money from the bank, then by all means please probe very hard so we can share the money).
I think people have a tendency to fall into the honesty zone with relationships where people think that being in a relationship means that you should spill the beans on every little iota of your life, and do it whilst you’re sitting on the toilet doing #2 with the door wide open. Give me a break please! You don’t have less of a relationship by knowing exactly how many people your partner has slept with. You would certainly find out through conversations when your partner lost their virginity and the exes they have, so you can do the math without plugging their fingers in a lie detector and demanding answers.
Failing all of these, he who ask first, spills first. ‘Dems be the rules’
Before you go i did a post titled why won't you love me baby? and one of my dear readers suggested i do another post on how one can explore their hidden emotions. I had read a post by Elsieisy which i thought would go be helpful for someone looking to move on from lost love. To read post click Here
As usual stay beautiful.