Wednesday, 22 October 2014

He's bad in bed!


I think we’d all like to say that every guy we’ve slept with was an amazing lover, but let’s be frank here, if you've slept with a few people, there’s been at least one bad lover. Just think about it. However, remember that it takes two to tango. You can’t just lie there like a sack of potatoes and expect him to do all of the work without communicating if you dislike something he’s doing or not and then at the end label him a shit lover in-between the sheets. (Why you wanna be mean?)

So basically, once you've established the fact that two can indeed tango, sometimes there is no escaping the fact that he really does suck at it. But why anyone would want to date a dude whose so rubbish in bed is beyond me.

Okay okay let’s not judge. He might be drunk, distracted or upset at the time. So if you want to increase your chances of a decent seeing-to, I suggest you optimise the situation. Although, some men don’t have their performance hindered by the effects of drugs or alcohol. But some just flop out. Or maybe it was too soon? It’s likely that if you don’t know each other that well and haven’t built a true connection, no matter how much you lust after his six pack or how big his **** is, or think he’s charming, he or both of you may find that when naked, it’s not that sexy. Not every man is wired to screw you in a heartbeat. Some men are more emotional than the usual hump you and dump you and regular shagger sorts!

Don’t let him pump you like he was in horse race. If you aren’t enjoying it, don’t stay mute. Okay I get it, you’re not the vocal type in the bedroom but did you try to point him in the right direction? Wince or literally change position? Some of his previous partners may have liked being ridden like they’re in the Grand National. So with that typical male ego, he assumes that everybody likes his techniques. *clears throat* Error.

But hold up! Are you saying his a bad lover because you didn't have an orgasm? *clears throat* lucky you if you come all the time. No wonder you have such high expectations. But just know that you can actually have good sex without having an orgasm all the time.

Or maybe you have given him the impression that his superman in bed? See I’m all for encouraging and managing egos sometimes, but there is something called constructive encouragement and then taking the piss and creating your own demise. Why would you keep telling someone they are great at something when they’re not, and then wonder what to do about the fact that they’re bad at it?! You have only made the task of improving the situation harder because now you have to undo your lies and think of how to put him on reverse.

My advice: instead of admitting you told a lie, start introducing new things to try out in the bedroom with the excuse of spicing things up. If you can’t tell him or even show him how to turn you on, how do you expect him to find out? By osmosis?

Okay don’t shoot me for what am about to say, but really have you for a second considered the fact that he may think you’re bad in bed? Yeah I know it didn't cross your mind. But unless you are with one of those egotistical guys who thinks that by waving his willy in any woman’s direction will induce an orgasm, he may not be enjoying the sex either! This means neither of you are communicating your needs to find a way to communicate what you need, feel and desire.

Remember sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship, but it is important. So if you aren’t enjoying it say something. Shake your bori.

As usual stay beautiful

Xoxo Chantel.

Thursday, 9 October 2014

20 Random Facts About Moi

I got tagged by the ever so beautiful Toin. So I am obliged to do a 20 random fact tag about my beautiful self. Yes I know you have being dying to know about me cause am awesome like that. If you say I lie go call police. Read and enjoy. 

  1. I cannot I repeat cannot do without internet. Like when I don’t have internet I feel like my whole world would collapse.
  2. Sometimes I am wayyyyy tooooo hard on myself. But yet I also think I don’t push myself hard enough. 
  3.  At first glance I come across as bitchy but once you get to know me am a total clown and sweetheart.

  4. I never read M and B as a teenager or ever in my life.
  5. I am totally addicted to eating cucumber and yogurt. Let me also be clear on the fact that I combine both of them together to eat. oh yes am weird like that.
  6. I never go a night without drinking green tea.
  7. I am 100% a shoes addict.
  8. I am totally addicted to texting so my fingers are always going at my phone. I only call when it is necessary.
  9. I drink my water or coke with loads and loads of ice-cubes so I can chew on the ice afterwards. It takes the grace of God for me not to lose my manners and start chewing the ice in my drink when am out. 
  10. I loveee watching thrillers and horror movies.
  11. Snakes are my worst fear.
  12. I am a real foodie in the sense that I enjoy cooking and eating. But if you beg me I will give
  13. I have a thing for the colors white and yellow.
  14. Everyone calls me by my middle name Chantel but my first name is Martha.
  15. I have a love/hate relationship with sleep.
  16. I can’t pronounce the word ENTHUSIASTIC loud I sound totally hilarious when I try.
  17. I can’t read a full paragraph of Pidgin English. I totally get lost.
  18. As much as I love watching thriller and horrors, those are also my favourite kinda reads when it comes to books.
  19.  I’m the only one in my entire family without a native name. Have no idea why. 
  20. I don’t have any matching bra and knickers.

I would go on but the instruction said 20 so there you go. You now know a little something something about the ever awesome person behind this blog. Now go and write your own 20 random facts about yourself and with that am going to tag Missytees, HD, Cherrywine, ElsieisyPrincelaj.

As usual stay beautiful and read my blog *wink wink*

Xoxo Chantel