25 Thoughts on Love, Relationships, Friendships and becoming a better me.

I have been away but I am kind of back. Let’s just pretend I have been here all the while okay. Anyway in my away time, I did some reflecting and I put together 25 thoughts on love, relationship, friendship and becoming a better me. 

1. Live with self-esteem at the heart of your interactions because if you don’t love you, you would end up acting without love, care, trust, and respect towards other people and in situations that detract from you.

2. Pray when it’s the hardest and when you think God isn't listening because he is.

3. Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in darkness

4. Friendship isn't about the quantity but the quality 

5. Any relationship where one person thinks that it can only be on their terms is a relationship to run in the opposite direction from. 

6. Dating is a discovery phase – you need to go into dating with a reasonable sense of trust and by paying attention to actions and words, you can roll back or increase your trust accordingly. Don’t go gaga and run around loving and trusting blindly because you would end up ignoring evidence that indicates that you need to slow down or abort mission. 

7. People tell you and show you who they are and you need to be listening and watching, not deciding that you know better. 

8. Avoid playing games in relationships because not only will you become uncertain as to what is genuine and what has been manipulated by the games, but you would also lose all credibility of the person if they become aware of it, plus if they’re dodgy they would take advantage of it.

9. Staying and complaining doesn't remove your accountability or do anything to improve the situation. 

10. Resisting the reality of something takes a lot more energy than accepting it – don’t give room for denial.

11. Desperation in any form mixed with dating and relationships makes a dangerous cocktail that can be smelt by an assclown shark from a million miles away. 

12. People who are genuinely interested in you not only show their interest, but they don’t resist you and don’t make their intentions or interactions ambiguous, plus you know they are interested without second guessing. 

13. Mistakes are growing pains but ultimately growing gains.

14. People unfold and keep unfolding.

15. We've got to stop exaggerating busy. Aside from the fact that busy doesn't equate to purposeful, we all choose what we want to be busy at. Busy people can love, have relationships and include others in their lives. 

16. Attempting to right the wrongs of a past that you weren't wholly or solely responsible for, leaves your present and future unattended to.

17. Don’t write online what you won’t be prepared to say to someone’s face.

18. Holding a grudge is like stabbing yourself over and over again – talk about it and let it go for your own sanity.

19. Don’t give away your choices. The words ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘maybe’, as well as ‘let me get back to you’, exist for a reason – use them. 

20. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take a moment and make it perfect.

21. Be careful of the forever hungry mind-set where you never appreciate what you have because your mind is always on the next proverbial meal. How would you know and appreciate what is more, when you never appreciated what you had?

22. Ups and downs are relative and personal hence why comparison and envy aren't the most productive or illuminating uses of your energy and time. 

23. You don’t have to be liked by everyone. No need to collect likes. Vibe with people who chime with your values and appreciate those who you don’t have to jump through hoops for them to appreciate who you are. 

24. Appreciate your life and how far you have come and look ahead to where you are going. Stop comparing your chapter X to another person’s chapter Y.

25. We don’t live in an ideal, fairy tale world so while it’s great that you know what you would think, feel and do under various circumstances, don’t project this on to other people and assume they are the same unless you have evidence that demonstrates this.

As usual stay beautiful 

Xoxo Chantel