Body Count- Is it necessary?

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You know there used to be a time when people were very uncomfortable talking about sex openly but now it seems like that’s the ‘new cool’. I judge not. Am just amazed at how everyone is now being so open about it. (ermm no am not tbh)  Okay we are all sinners…shikena. Anyway so this post is as a result of some #NHBi thing I saw on Twitter… (Mind you I have no idea what #NHBi stands for so please don’t ask).

 Do guys care about how many people you have slept with? I would say that is a resounding YES. Call it Ego, the other 25% that makes up men’s bodies after water, but most guys seem to have some level of discomfort regarding how many people their significant other has been with. I would guess it’s because they would like to think that they are the only one you've had (can be possible), and failing that, the biggest and the best you've ever had. Due to our fears of repercussions and looking less like the virgin Mary to our beloved’s, most women have some level of discomfort saying just how many people they have been with. Which means they would undercount to a number that suits their significant other’s ears. Never fear ladies…he has probably inflated his number as well.

A guy likes to feel or think perhaps that you are ‘his’ as it is a macho instinct which is ingrained into the male wiring system. Now he can go ahead and do two things with this instincts, which is one, to act on it and be an assclown with his expectations that his woman should either be a virgin or have slept with very few people (which again i say can be possible). Or, he can have this instinct but keep it in check because in the real world, short of meeting a woman at 18, there tends to be a level of sexual history that has been gathered.

Where the double standard kicks in though, is that often than not a guy racked up some big digits with sexual partners, but STILL somehow manages to think that his woman should be holier than thou.

My take personally, I don’t think that you should be discussing how many people you've slept with, because quite frankly, no matter what number either of you say beyond zero, or one, one or both of you won’t take the answers well. If you have had previous sexual partners, you should both be discussing things from the safe sex point of view (i.e. when were either of you last tested?) but I fail to see what knowing the ‘magic number’ is going to do for either one of you. (Not unless you can use it to collect money from the bank, then by all means please probe very hard so we can share the money).

I think people have a tendency to fall into the honesty zone with relationships where people think that being in a relationship means that you should spill the beans on every little iota of your life, and do it whilst you’re sitting on the toilet doing #2 with the door wide open. Give me a break please! You don’t have less of a relationship by knowing exactly how many people your partner has slept with. You would certainly find out through conversations when your partner lost their virginity and the exes they have, so you can do the math without plugging their fingers in a lie detector and demanding answers.

Failing all of these, he who ask first, spills first. ‘Dems be the rules’

Before you go i did a post titled why won't you love me baby? and one of my dear readers suggested i do another post on how one can explore their hidden emotions. I had read a post by Elsieisy which i thought would go be helpful for someone looking to move on from lost love. To read post click Here

As usual stay beautiful.

Why are you single

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People sure know how to ask stupid questions really. But as a single person, with time yeah you become fodder for oodles of stupidity because for some reason your life is seen as being less than that of someone who is attached. I am of the opinion that some people who are attached are secretly envious of singles as we are footloose and fancy free. However, this doesn't stop me from having the urge to want to scream at the next person that asks me ‘why are you single’

As much as I hate to say it but am thinking like ‘don’t these twits realize that if I had an answer to this question, I wouldn't be single? How long is a piece of string? What do these people expect me to say really?

I don’t like to give blowjobs

Am a chick with a dick

I just got out of prison

I act like an innocent woman by day and act like a psychotic bitch at night

This is a mask and underneath it am an alien

I don’t know really but those are the kind of stupid answers I have to the question ‘why are you single’

Am a pretty outgoing woman, has loads of friends, has all her teeth complete, takes care of her appearance, ambitious, wants to have kids and settle down some day, used to have bad taste in men but that has changed now (hopefully) after past experiences and by all accounts is a good catch. There could be a number of reasons why am single but I doubt that any of them are a bad thing. I have dated, I’ve had fun, I have cocked it up from time to time, but by not engaging in a serious relationship for awhile or so, I’ve been spared the mercy of some of the aggravation some of my coupled friends have. However, I hope the next time am in a relationship it would be a good choice.

I sometimes feel for single people who don’t have the balls like some people do, to tell people who ask silly questions like this or make them feel uncomfortable to go take a run and jump. Coupled people are projecting their own fear of being single when they ask BS questions or treat single people like social pariahs. There are some people who are unhappy with their singleness and feel extremely miserable with it, and maybe if I was single for 10years I would feel the same way too, but a lot of people who are unhappy with their singleness haven’t been single for that long they just hate being ‘alone’. They validate themselves based on how coupled they are and that’s where the questioners and doubters come creeping in. 

My advice: laugh in the face of people who ask silly questions and more, and tell them that you’re single because you’re single and if you knew why, you would either be attached or have made millions from writing a book about being single. Don’t justify, don’t make excuses and remind them that you don’t ask why they are still with their significant other or even why they are still alive. Most importantly, don’t let them get to you. Enjoy yourself. When you’re washing your future significant other’s skid marked boxers *yes that’s pretty gross*, or you’ve got the kids you absolutely adore screaming their heads off and you have baby puke all over you, or you never got to go out anymore because your life is a mass of couple commitments, you’ll remember these words. Hopefully.

So until then enjoy being single and as usual stay beautiful always.

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Close your legs

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With great power comes great responsibility. So I think it’s time some girls (me included) started taking responsibility for some men being ‘Jerks’. Frankly, there is more to a girl demanding respect for herself instead of just screaming at guys when they act like…well GUYS.

Am tired of girls whining about how a guy ‘wronged’ them when they give the guy a reason to be stupid by sleeping with him almost immediately. Especially when this guy makes it clear that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with you. It’s a whole different ball game if the guy has been leading you on for a while, dating you, acting interested for a while and then disappears after sex. At this point you can call him whatever name you want. He deserves it. But not when you have been the one making all the moves and seeing his  ‘am not interested signals’ written boldly on his head, but you still put head and he sleeps with you and forgets you; you get upset and start calling him all kinds of names. At this point na only you waka come.

Some girls truly don’t get it really. No matter how many times a guy tells them they don’t want a relationship, they are of the notion that their VeeGaGa is golden and the minute they give it up, the guy would automatically become starstruck into wanting them or loving them, and that he would become prince charming all of a sudden. Or their knight in shining armour.

Some girls seem to think that if they have sex with a guy, it automatically means that he would be committed to them, when they don’t get their way they throw a fit and blame the guy for behaving badly. I guess that’s easier than admitting they were the ones who acted very stupid and got themselves in that situation in the first place.

See, guys are fascinated by something- It’s called SEX. If you drop your pants and lay it out before a guy, trust me his going to take you up on your offer. Does this mean his an asshole? No, it means his a guy.

Guys are red-blooded creatures with plenty of testosterone and because of their hormones, they would always crave sex whether they last had it 10 years ago or 10 mins ago. You have to remember that sex is not something you do to score a relationship. It’s something you do with a man who already cares about you.

One thing you have to remember is – guys like girls, want something of value. They would assume that if you’re giving it freely now, you probably have in the past. So close your leg until you are 100% certain about a guy. If you feel he would leave you if you don’t give it to him, great let him go. That’s not the kind of guy you want to be with anyway. (The hit and run).

As usual stay beautiful. xoxo