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Wednesday 22 October 2014

He's bad in bed!

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I think we’d all like to say that every guy we’ve slept with was an amazing lover, but let’s be frank here, if you've slept with a few people, there’s been at least one bad lover. Just think about it. However, remember that it takes two to tango. You can’t just lie there like a sack of potatoes and expect him to do all of the work without communicating if you dislike something he’s doing or not and then at the end label him a shit lover in-between the sheets. (Why you wanna be mean?)

So basically, once you've established the fact that two can indeed tango, sometimes there is no escaping the fact that he really does suck at it. But why anyone would want to date a dude whose so rubbish in bed is beyond me.

Okay okay let’s not judge. He might be drunk, distracted or upset at the time. So if you want to increase your chances of a decent seeing-to, I suggest you optimise the situation. Although, some men don’t have their performance hindered by the effects of drugs or alcohol. But some just flop out. Or maybe it was too soon? It’s likely that if you don’t know each other that well and haven’t built a true connection, no matter how much you lust after his six pack or how big his **** is, or think he’s charming, he or both of you may find that when naked, it’s not that sexy. Not every man is wired to screw you in a heartbeat. Some men are more emotional than the usual hump you and dump you and regular shagger sorts!

Don’t let him pump you like he was in horse race. If you aren’t enjoying it, don’t stay mute. Okay I get it, you’re not the vocal type in the bedroom but did you try to point him in the right direction? Wince or literally change position? Some of his previous partners may have liked being ridden like they’re in the Grand National. So with that typical male ego, he assumes that everybody likes his techniques. *clears throat* Error.

But hold up! Are you saying his a bad lover because you didn't have an orgasm? *clears throat* lucky you if you come all the time. No wonder you have such high expectations. But just know that you can actually have good sex without having an orgasm all the time.

Or maybe you have given him the impression that his superman in bed? See I’m all for encouraging and managing egos sometimes, but there is something called constructive encouragement and then taking the piss and creating your own demise. Why would you keep telling someone they are great at something when they’re not, and then wonder what to do about the fact that they’re bad at it?! You have only made the task of improving the situation harder because now you have to undo your lies and think of how to put him on reverse.

My advice: instead of admitting you told a lie, start introducing new things to try out in the bedroom with the excuse of spicing things up. If you can’t tell him or even show him how to turn you on, how do you expect him to find out? By osmosis?

Okay don’t shoot me for what am about to say, but really have you for a second considered the fact that he may think you’re bad in bed? Yeah I know it didn't cross your mind. But unless you are with one of those egotistical guys who thinks that by waving his willy in any woman’s direction will induce an orgasm, he may not be enjoying the sex either! This means neither of you are communicating your needs to find a way to communicate what you need, feel and desire.

Remember sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship, but it is important. So if you aren’t enjoying it say something. Shake your bori.

As usual stay beautiful


Xoxo Chantel.

7 comments:

  1. Jesu,

    The geh wants to soil me.

    I no get comment for now.

    But I'll keep the info in my repertoire.

    ReplyDelete
  2. *taking notes* lool but you spake the truth. I don't know why communication has to be so hard. If it's not working for you, move those hands to where works...that's if you can't talk. I don't understand how people date people they can't talk or be straight with...unless of course, it's a booty call.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been awful in bed at the early stage in my life but gosh now I know it is bad to have even done it. Well, once in it, you better be a pro at it. It makes you some pill that is recommended for her off days. You know nothing makes you happier than knowing your woman will still let you go south even when she is unhappy cos she knows she will get out better than grumpy!
    I believe the duty lies with men too. In fact, we must know how to communicate during sex. I know for sure women are always reserved at the first shot cos they don't want you feeling they are the next Stone but when you ask questions during consummation, you make her free and she can lead the occasion better than you.
    It is crucial to watch out for signs in her too. Look at her expression cos sometimes she is taking the download cos she doesn't wanna tell you how tired she has become after you've been at it for hours. She just might need rest or water before the show resumes. She ain't being used so make her feel every time you grinding is the best moments of your life.
    Men be pro at it cos sometimes I wish I could call on the earlier partners to come have an occasion to judge now but it is lost. If practice makes perfect, don't linger on practice dude.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've been awful in bed at the early stage in my life but gosh now I know it is bad to have even done it. Well, once in it, you better be a pro at it. It makes you some pill that is recommended for her off days. You know nothing makes you happier than knowing your woman will still let you go south even when she is unhappy cos she knows she will get out better than grumpy!
    I believe the duty lies with men too. In fact, we must know how to communicate during sex. I know for sure women are always reserved at the first shot cos they don't want you feeling they are the next Stone but when you ask questions during consummation, you make her free and she can lead the occasion better than you.
    It is crucial to watch out for signs in her too. Look at her expression cos sometimes she is taking the download cos she doesn't wanna tell you how tired she has become after you've been at it for hours. She just might need rest or water before the show resumes. She ain't being used so make her feel every time you grinding is the best moments of your life.
    Men be pro at it cos sometimes I wish I could call on the earlier partners to come have an occasion to judge now but it is lost. If practice makes perfect, don't linger on practice dude.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well...no comment. I don't subscribe to sex before marriage anymore, I've been celibate for a few years. But I will speak to the ego issue where sex is concerned. I had an argument with a friend once on how guys fail to treat each girl on her individual merit. It seems the thought is sleep with one, sleep with all. Let me mimic you: *clears throat* error! If you correct a man on his technique, it's been my experience that they do not take too kindly to it and you get labelled a ho. How dare you know what technique works best for you??? He's the man dammit. Guys, mend your ways. It may end up being better for you too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This one is a lesson for me. Like Toin, I'm taking notes too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Still taking notes*
    I know I'm bad in bed but some people are worse. Lol

    ReplyDelete

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