Forgive my absence..work has being kicking me left, right, centre.
It hurts when the realisation hits you that when it comes to certain people or a certain someone in your life, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing, zilch is ever enough. You could literally walk over hot coal, have fireworks shooting out of your ears, agree with everything that they say and they’ll do the equivalent of, ‘you missed a spot…’
Nothing is ever enough with The Unpleasables and if you try to do ‘everything’ you will only burst the hell out of your boundaries- they’re just not that special!
I know sometimes it feels like it’s the most natural thing to be a people pleaser because it’s all you know and you equate happiness and worthiness with pleasing people all of the time and associate other people’s displeasure with a sense of you being inadequate. Sometimes you have this feeling that it’s you. But the truth is:
You can’t please everyone all of the time and also these shenanigans aren’t about you, your worth or ‘inadequacies’.
The thing is Unpleasables are aware of their perennial dissatisfaction and inappropriate expectations (but they continue anyway even though they are not exactly meeting other people’s expectations including yours). Unpleasables don’t realise that the way in which they interact with people and express gratitude (that’s if they manage to) or their discontent gives the firm impression that they’re hell-bent on never being happy.
The Unpleaseables have this notion or crazy idea that ‘everyone’ is responsible for their satisfaction. See trying to please an Unpleasable is essentially like throwing all your energy into the abyss and while you break your back and all just trying to gain their attention, love and approval, you completely deplete you of everything.
What these kind of people fail to recognise is that they need to look inward and examine their own behaviour and the way in which they conduct their lives instead of blaming everyone else and trying to enforce their ‘entitlements’.
Pleasing people all the time would cause you to do things for the wrong reason and ultimately, you’re not living your life but theirs. A person who cannot be pleased is the same person who has little gratitude for the things they have because they always focus on what they don’t have and what they don’t have is distorted anyway because they never acknowledge and appreciate what they do have and the efforts of others in the first place.
Stop trying to be perfect in the hope that they would cut you some slack- cut yourself some slack. You’re human not a machine. Even machines crash sometimes.
This is your life and it’s time to get into the business of learning how to please you and meet your own needs. Your role in life isn’t to be an scapegoat or to be kicked to make someone else feel better about their own turmoil. So next time if it’s out of your way or it’s not something you want to do, just say NO. It’s okay to say NO sometimes.
As always stay beautiful