Things you shouldn't give up for love or a relationship

Love for me isn’t being with someone who makes you feel weak, like you can’t do anything without them. No one needs love that would keep reminding them of their weaknesses. Instead find love that knows your weaknesses but still tells you you’re strong. Love that encourages you. Makes you feel strong and when you fall picks you up and tells you it’s okay to fall. A love that makes you feel like you can conquer the world even when down.

It’s important to remember what you should NEVER give up for love or a relationship. And that’s what this is about. A reminder for me and you.

1. YOUR IMPERFECT MAGNIFICENCE

It’s not hard for someone to tell you ‘I love you’ but it’s hard to find someone who means it. But eventually you would find that someone and until then, you shouldn’t have to settle. Find someone who isn’t afraid to tell you they miss you when they actually do. Because people can tell you they ‘miss you’ cos that’s what you want to hear. Someone who knows you’re not perfect but wants to be with you anyway. Someone who says ‘I love you’ and proves it day in day out. Someone who sees you when you wake up in the morning without make-up and your hair all messy but smiles cause to them you are still beautiful.

Remember, to the people who truly love you, you are magnificent already.

2. THE RIGHT TO DECIDE YOURSELF

Don’t and I mean DON’T put the keys to your happiness, peace of mind and growth into the pockets of someone else. Relationships are not about authority and obedience; they’re agreements of respect and love. You can’t shouldn’t live your entire life through someone else’s fantasies. You should be able to do you. Give but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to those who love you, but DON’T lose track of your inner voice.

3. YOUR INNATE HUMAN NEEDS TO BE UNDERSTOOD

There is nothing honestly as beautiful as being understood and being able to understand someone else. Even when there are disagreements, every healthy relationship should have this mutual understanding- a loving space filled with listening and compromise.

So remember to listen without defending and speaking without offending. Communication isn’t just an important part of a relationship, it is the relationship.

4. THE FREEDOM TO LOVE

Love is the creative force of the universe. It is important in everyone’s life. When it is present in our lives, we feel happier, more optimistic and fulfilled. Without it, we are angry, cynical, resentful people; critical of others and ourselves, effectively squashing the greatness that exist within us, and diminishing our own light.

So open your heart and let love out. Love yourself. Love people. Love experiences. And let go of those people who try to stop you.

5. THE COURAGE AND WILLINGNESS TO EXPERIMENT WITH LIFE

To truly live, you must lose your fear of being wrong. You have to remember that doing something and getting it wrong, is a million times better than doing at all. Even when things seem not to work out, they do. Because in the end, experience is what you get and like the saying goes ‘experience is the best teacher’. You may not get what you wanted, but experience is the most valuable thing you can give.

So don’t be timid and squeamish about your choices. Don’t let someone scare you out of failing forward. All of life is an experiment.

6. YOUR JOY

Never let anything or anyone get in the way of your joy. Live a life that sizzles and makes you laugh out loud every day. Every day may not be beautiful but don’t let that phase you because the joy is your alive and that counts. Because you don’t want to get to the end and realize that your life is a collection of meetings and errands and receipts and empty promises.

So sing out loud in the shower *my fav time of the day*, in your car. Throw parties, hang with friends approach that chic you’re not sure off *you won’t die if she says no* tell that dude who makes u cry to sod off. Write a book, poetry or song. Just be happy and keep living and laughing and making God glad he gave life to someone who truly loves and cherishes the gift.

7. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS INCLUDING THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF

If a relationship is closing you up from the world, making you feel bad about yourself; it’s time to let go. It’s time to choose love over deception. After all, that’s what love is all about – freedom.

So don’t blame love if a relationship is interfering with other important relationships, or robbing you or your self-esteem or your freedom. It isn’t love that’s stealing from you. Its possession, obsession, manipulation, and confusion. Love has nothing to do with your situation. Love doesn’t close the door on happiness and liberty, it opens it wide to let more in.

It is easier to fill the empty space within your life where someone use to be, than fill the empty space within yourself where YOU use to be.

8. YOUR INNER PEACE AND COMPOSURE

No matter how awesome you are in life, some people would still say you’re not good enough. People would still upset you, disrespect you and treat you badly. Let them be. Hatred and negativity filling your heart and mind, will only consume you and your potential. You will begin to heal and grow emotionally when you let go of these past hurts, excuse the people who have wronged you, and forgive yourself for misjudgements.

Bottom Line: learning to ignore certain people and situations is one of the great paths to inner peace. So let GO when you must. Let them be so you can have your peace of mind intact.

What else would you add to this list?  

As usual stay beautiful. xoxo :)