Monday, 4 August 2014

Lazy Communication

You see am the kind of girl who likes to text. Jeez I can text all day and never get tired. But I also like phone calls too. So let me be clear about something, nobody and I mean absolutely nobody is soooooo busy that they can only manage to text, email or instant message you. Somewhere along the line, people find time to call even if it’s just for a minute.

When a man relies primarily on text messaging or instant messaging as a mean of communicating with you, it’s not  because he’s a new age man, and it’s not because he is trying to manage his time effectively.
He is simply just trying to use ‘new’ forms of communication to control how both of you correspond so he can control the relationship. He wants to keep at a distance and it’s likely because he is emotionally unavailable, an assclown, or just both.

Now don’t get me wrong a man who is trying to get to know you would might start off with texting you to break the ice but eventually in that long run of trying to woo you or chase you, he would call when the ice is broken and you two are comfortable with yourselves. But if after 2months of texting he still hasn’t called? Omo babe you know nah.

When a man is too lazy to communicate with you properly, why waste the air you breathe on him? Trust me, if lazy communication exist in your relationship, there are other problems there waiting for you to open the Pandora box.

Have you ever spent loads of time analysing a text message or an email? I have oh!

Have you ever reread a text trying to gauge the meaning or read waaay more into it? Oh yes you got that right. I have!

Wondering if he has a wife or girlfriend stashed away? I have!

Wondering why you haven’t heard from him but yet he’s been active on other social networks? I have! *stalker much* lol

Texting and instant messaging, even emails too are all open to interpretation and it’s very easy to misconstrue tone. If a dude relies on these methods of communication with you, you will build sandcastles in the sky because really, when you spend your time reading into things, you can make it any relationship you want it to be.

It’s one thing if his using these forms of communication as a secondary way of communicating with you in conjunction with picking up the phone, and seeing you face to face. But you should certainly not accept these means as a primary method of communication.

Men who don’t make an effort and who aren't interested in forging a relationship with you will opt for these lazy forms of communication.

You may start out this way at first like I said, but he should want to progress the conversation and let you into his life. You don’t need to work out the why’s, where’s and how’s and you certainly should not go down the route of trying to force him to communicate with you via other means.
Why should you have to force him to do something that comes naturally to people who actually want to have a relationship and want to put both feet in?

Nobody is so busy that they can only bring themselves to call you when they need an ego massage or a shag.
Tell me what you think. Am I right? Or just over-analysing?

As usual stay beautiful


  1. Love dis post.....Because of BBM,Whatsapp,Snatchat , guys dnt call anymore. No more good morning love calls or Let me call my bae and say good night love...Sad.'Time to use nokia 3310'

  2. Great topic. Great line of thought. Very readable. You're post quality is improving. Kudos.
    As for calling or simply texting,I would take it further to say that any man who isn't eager to meet up with you (outside his bedroom) doesn't have 'serious' plans for you.
    More food for thought eh?

  3. Oga you're not entirely right joor. First I hate that I ain't the first person to comment on this. I spent time trying to post my last comment. Naija network sucks.
    Back to the matter, yeah lazy communication exists and indeed it undermines relationship. However, in my books relationship got far worse when communicating became easier and cheaper - I don't mean price here. I mean easier. Love needs some absence to grow. I hate the fact that there is no form of distance cos of social apps and it is easier to get bored of a partner cos of regular contact. The issues are enormous when we ate in each others faces.
    Relationships lasted more when letters were delivered in months. You're right though we need to see more, talk more but not be at each others throat. Even as a man I read meaning to hi and byes.
    Madam follow me on Twitter @princelajblog so I follow back.

  4. On this one, I agree that no one is "too busy" to call. Not necessarily because he is trying to control the relationship. In my books, he is just not that into you if all he does is IM/Sms you

  5. What Toin said!!! He is really not that into you. Keep it stepping, mademoiselle!

  6. I agree with you totally. I think i would join the other person in getting a nokia 3310 phone too.

  7. Angbele!! Must people communicate comfortably by texting than calling, i will say which ever way, communication would have taken place. Another thing is guys are shy when it comes to this things, and what about ladies too? are we exempted in this? If he only text, you to text him back shikena!

  8. I do not agree with you on this one, you sound as if men are the only once at fault here. What is communication? So far the message has been past either by text, call, so far the message has been passed. My friends do not call me they only text, i do not take offence to that. I love to call, they love to test, so far communication has exchanged hands. The world has moved on we should either move on or stay put to what we are comfortable with.

    1. I am of the opinion that you did not really understand what you read. hmmmm.

  9. Chantel! My girl you are speaking too much sense. Toin you said it- He's so not into you. You're only a distant girlfriend

  10. Someone's forming a man-text expert, eh? :)
    Hello Chantel, just dropped in to say hi.


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