Size. What does it Matter?!

Like seriously, is it a competition or is it just from insecurity?

Every time a guy tells me how big his ding dong is and how great of a sex partner he is, it just makes me laugh. Like honestly what’s the point really? If I haven’t asked you, why in the world are you telling me? Infact why are you trying to convince me of how great you are in bed? Are you trying to convince me or is it yourself you are trying to convince? Because all that talk just makes you look pathetic and makes me laugh.

Oh did I also say it makes you look very INSECURE? Yeah I think I already said that, but to send it home again, IT MAKES YOU LOOK INSECURE. Get my drift now? Good.

Honestly, I do not mean to dick shame, but it just always amuses me when I hear a man brag about his penis size, feeling all boastful and proud. Honey, you did nothing to deserve that dick...you were just born with it. It’s a penis size not a damn Pulitzer, so stop talking so much about it.  Spare us the proud parent act and just accomplish something with it.

You need to remember that a woman’s vagina is talented enough to expand to fit the size of any dick. So when a guy brags about his penis size, I’m just like, DARLING, SILENCE PLEASE, THE BURDEN OF THE BIG DICK IS NOT YOURS TO CARRY.

Sometimes a too big dick is maybe the only time size might take sex right off the table, and perhaps a small dick the size of my pinkie as well. The thing is, if it’s larger than a bread box, and as small as a pea, then we’re going to have a problem. Trust me no woman is confused when it comes to the size in your pants. At that point, she definitely knows what she wants (at least I do).

Basically, I think your size shouldn't really matter honestly. What you should be more worried about is finding your groove and how you can rock it, because big dick does not equal to good sex. My wish for men is that they wouldn’t stress over their size because unlike boobs, your penis size is not going to change. However, the only thing which can is what you do with it and that applies to all sizes and shapes.

So I spoke to some men regards this topic and they all think we women are the reason why they need to convince us of the size. Anyway, I feel that what all men (women) should focus on, is how they make their partner feel, and how they feel with their partner. Ladies please please give the small sized fellows a chance before writing them off completely. But if it feels like a pen in-between your legs, then please send that man out your door…Infact drive him home if you have to. And to the guys in the middle, please stop worrying about how you measure up or not. At the end, it all balls down to chemistry and movement, and not length and girth.

PS: To the one who says for someone who isn't having sex I sure do talk a lot about sex…errmmm its called abstinence not virginity. And I don’t see anything wrong about talking about it. It’s not a forbidden word.

As always stay beautiful

Xoxo Chantel 

The Unpleasables

Forgive my absence..work has being kicking me left, right, centre.

It hurts when the realisation hits you that when it comes to certain people or a certain someone in your life, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing, zilch is ever enough. You could literally walk over hot coal, have fireworks shooting out of your ears, agree with everything that they say and they’ll do the equivalent of, ‘you missed a spot…’

Nothing is ever enough with The Unpleasables and if you try to do ‘everything’ you will only burst the hell out of your boundaries- they’re just not that special!

I know sometimes it feels like it’s the most natural thing to be a people pleaser because it’s all you know and you equate happiness and worthiness with pleasing people all of the time and associate other people’s displeasure with a sense of you being inadequate. Sometimes you have this feeling that it’s you. But the truth is:

You can’t please everyone all of the time and also these shenanigans aren’t about you, your worth or ‘inadequacies’.

The thing is Unpleasables are aware of their perennial dissatisfaction and inappropriate expectations (but they continue anyway even though they are not exactly meeting other people’s expectations including yours). Unpleasables don’t realise that the way in which they interact with people and express gratitude (that’s if they manage to) or their discontent gives the firm impression that they’re hell-bent on never being happy.

The Unpleaseables have this notion or crazy idea that ‘everyone’ is responsible for their satisfaction. See trying to please an Unpleasable is essentially like throwing all your energy into the abyss and while you break your back and all just trying to gain their attention, love and approval, you completely deplete you of everything.

What these kind of people fail to recognise is that they need to look inward and examine their own behaviour and the way in which they conduct their lives instead of blaming everyone else and trying to enforce their ‘entitlements’. 

Pleasing people all the time would cause you to do things for the wrong reason and ultimately, you’re not living your life but theirs. A person who cannot be pleased is the same person who has little gratitude for the things they have because they always focus on what they don’t have and what they don’t have is distorted anyway because they never acknowledge and appreciate what they do have and the efforts of others in the first place.

Stop trying to be perfect in the hope that they would cut you some slack- cut yourself some slack. You’re human not a machine. Even machines crash sometimes.

 This is your life and it’s time to get into the business of learning how to please you and meet your own needs. Your role in life isn’t to be an scapegoat or to be kicked to make someone else feel better about their own turmoil. So next time if it’s out of your way or it’s not something you want to do, just say NO. It’s okay to say NO sometimes.   

As always stay beautiful

Xoxo Chantel