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So I saw this screenshot message
from an older woman telling all younger women how to act in their marriages. She
was of the opinion that ‘all men cheat’. Hours after, my cousin sends me a link
to the picture and we start to talk about it. So she’s saying to me that she
has friends who have told her the same thing and she wanted to know my opinion
about it.
Personally I do not like to
generalize simply because I have come to learn that every human is different in
their own special way. So just because you have been in 1 or 2 relationships
where your partner cheated on you doesn’t mean that every other person you meet
in the future is also like that. I mean like; no human is the criteria for the
world so why judge everyone in that light? I know there are people who would
say otherwise and criticize what I am saying but that’s your opinion and we are
all entitled to that. So you don’t have to agree with me.
This oft-repeated myth that ‘all
men cheat’ in my opinion is just a myth. But women say it to each other when
their friend’s boyfriend or husband is caught cheating and men say it to one
another simply to comfort themselves and naturalize their infidelities.
People would say ‘men cheat’
because it’s in their nature to do so. Okay. But at the end of the day I think
it all boils down to Principles. We are faithful to our partners simply because
we made a commitment to do so and because we don’t want to hurt them. When
relationships fall apart because of cheating, it’s because of betrayal and a
breach of trust more than it is about the physical act of sex.
Relationships need to be based on
trust and honesty, which means somewhere in the ‘getting to know you’ part, you
would have shared your past experiences whether good or bad. If you have been cheated on in the past, this
can be a very devastating experience with far reaching effects. But like I always
say, you have no business being in a relationship if you have emotional baggage
and it’s an issue which exceeds the maximum weight. If you have emotional
baggage big enough to fill an airport terminal then please you have no business
being in a relationship until you sort yourself out. If you’re so badly hurt
from past relationships that you can’t trust anyone, then you need to work on
your issues and preferably alone.
I know men who have cheated and I
know women who have cheated. So the myth that ‘all men cheat’ is not 100% true.
Since Victorian times, women have been viewed as the ones responsible for
maintaining ‘morality’ in society and keeping men in check. While men are
viewed as penises (please excuse my being so straight forward) with legs;
incapable of rational thought once faced with the prospect of touching a boob.
So when women say ‘all men cheat’
they are simply doing two things: enabling one another to stay in relationships
with men who are sketchy, selfish liars, and two teach men that they aren’t
accountable for their own behavior. Aside from that, the notion that ‘all men
cheat’ is a lie.
I honestly don’t buy into the ‘men
are ruled by their dick’ story-line. I think that’s just an excuse to let men
off the hook in terms of accountability for their own behavior and reinforces
untrue stereotypes.
What are your thoughts? Please share.
Stay beautiful
Xoxo
Chantel